Week 12 Writing Tools Activity #10

For this writing tools activity I will be doing Writing Tool # 37: In short works, don’t waste a syllable. Clark stresses the importance of polishing writing with “wit” and keeping it short and simple for the reader. He tells us that the this tool has three strengths to it which include: power, wit, and polish. With this the reader will see the ending from the get go and be more entailed to finish the story. This week I will be using this tool through OPTION 1. Below I have provided an original passage followed by a revision.

Original

Throughout my years at Culver Academies, I had always enjoyed writing, whether it was creative or research. I found one kind of voice my freshman year, but by the end of my senior year that voice was completely different. By senior year, I had significantly improved my writing voice in many aspects, whether it was in organization or mechanics. This is the same case after my first year here at Colorado College. Leaving high school, I knew I wasn’t the best writer, but I was able to convey my visions through words in an organized manner. I felt prepared for any type of writing that I would be assigned in class before arriving to Colorado College. I knew, however, that the transition of workload was not going to be an easy one, but I was prepared for a challenge.

Revision

While at Culver Academies, I had always enjoyed all forms of writing.  Freshman year I found a voice, but that changed by senior year. (deleted sentences that were irrelevant) Coming to CC, I knew I wasn’t the best writer, but was capable of conveying my visions (through words…deleted) in an organized manner, and felt prepared to write at CC. I knew the transition of workloads would be challenging, but that didn’t stop me.

After doing this revision, I am hoping that my revision is more powerful than the original because of how short and to the point it is with the words that I chose. I want the readers to understand where I am going with this paragraph.

Week 11 Writing Tools Activity #9

This week I will be using Writing Tool #33: Repeat, repeat, and repeat. Clark explains the benefits of repetition and the correct ways to utilize this tool in one’s writing. He explains that by using some repetition, parts of the writing can be linked, and you give the writing a sort of rhythm that can make it more interesting for the reader. The most important reason to use this tool as well is for persuasion. I will be doing OPTION 4 for this weeks blog, by providing an “educational resource” to aid writers on how to recognize repetition and how to effectively use repetition. Below is a cartoon I found on the Internet, can you spot what is being repeated?

The words or phrases that the writer chose to repeat include: “you are”, “life”, sport metaphors, and the use of numbers within the various metaphors (ninth, three, eighteen, seven-ten, tenth, and third). The use of these various forms of repetition give the dialogue flavor and really emphasizes Lucy’s thoughts on Charlie Brown.

The Argument and the Research

What I found beneficially in the Issue 4: Argument: Beyond Pro and Con was the visuals of the graphic novel. Explaining this topic isn’t easy with just text and the use of visuals really provided me to understand exactly what they were trying to say about the importance of how to have a good argument. The authors ability to provide numerous examples of good arguments really provided great depth into the topic. After reading this issue, I better understand Garbacik’s form of arguing. As I reflect on reading each chapter, she embedded these components to further her argument: facts, circumstances, relationships, and reasons. The use of each of these allowed Garbacik to provide the reader with strong evidence on to why she was making such claims throughout the chapter. This also shows that she wasn’t just “b-sing” what she was saying. In general, this has taught me that when an argument starts, whether its more in the form of a good conversation or a yelling scenario, having all the details is key into showing you know what you are presenting.

In issue 5: Research : More than Just Detective Work I found the most beneficial piece of advice to be and keep organized. Having this ability can rally make the research process effective and easy. The ability to know where the research is makes it easy to find when presenting it, but another key aspect to this is presenting the evidence and research in an organized manner. When I am to write a research paper, I start researching immediately and taking notes. I organize my findings into groups that reflect the similarities to my findings. Once I have this done, I begin to write and organize what I am trying to say. The order in which I discuss and present my findings is key to presenting a strong thesis. By having this ability, I can lead the reader through multiple concepts that will eventually tie into the main concept. For me, science papers, in particularly lab write ups, has been the greatest example of how important it is to stay organized, understand your research, make sure it is credible, and organize it in a manner that makes explaining the entire process easy to understand.

Week 10 Writing Tools Activity #8

This week I will be applying tool # 29: Foreshadow dramatic events and powerful conclusions. Instead of the using a previous writing sample of mine and then providing the revision, I will be giving you a visual that best explains the purpose of this tool. In the film, The Wizard of Oz, the twister scene where Dorothy sees Miss Gluch transformed into a witch on a broom, foreshadows the two characters relationship once entering the world of Oz. Below, I have provided a clip of this scene, which also foreshadows numerous other aspects of the plot.  This specific example can be seen at around 3:30.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1PfVVFq97I

Enjoy 🙂

The Dreaded Halloween

As many of you may have noticed by my choice in title for today’s blog….I am not a big fan of Halloween. This has not always been the case though. When I was young, however, I loved the idea of Halloween. Sometimes I’d even wear my choice of costumes for days after because I loved dressing up. My brother and I would also have a competition to see who had the heaviest pillow case full of candy, but as a senior in college this is no longer the case. I am feeling like I need to take some form of costume and make it sexy. I just don’t really see the point because we are only degrading ourselves more. I had a talk with one of my close friends this past weekend about this topic, and we both concluded that we can’t wait to get dressed up as something really scary and not “slutty” and just pass out candy to the little kids. I am not sure if anyone else feels this way or not, but let me know your thoughts.

Chapter 8: Transgender Contexts and Concerns

Summary: 

Garbacik opens up this chapter with some background history on how the terminology “transgender” arose, and people’s initial responses. When this first arose as a desire for people to change sexes, medical physicians claimed that the person had a mental issue, which is rebuked. Another issue Garbacik raises are the inequality issues that many transgender people face especillay in the work force. “It is legal in more than half of the U.S. to fire someone purely on the basis of their transgender identification (37 states as of 2009) (Garbacik, 170). Despite the difficulties each community has faced, they are all coming together and progressing from the benefits of uniting together against one cause. They have their differences; yet experience many of the same inequalities. There is still a lot to be done and making people more knowledgeable will only make things easier.

Response:

I found this chapter really interesting because of the facts. I honestly didn’t know much about this area, and I learned a lot. It’s sad reading that so many people still faces these issues. What I really liked to were the visuals provided to further explain transgenders cross-culturally.

Chapter 7: Queer Theory

Summary:

Garbacik opens this chapter by discussing the new questions that gay and lesbian activists raised about the general concept’s surrounding identity categories. Garbacik quotes Judith Butler that the activists need to “deconstruct the normative models of gender” in order to create some credibility (Garbacik, 143). She continues to explain that by showing pride and “coming out” will only enhance the gay communities ability to find validity among society.

Response:

I really liked that this chapter was a little shorter on the reading side. That said there were not as many visuals to reference, but the text boxes and the comic at the beginning of the chapter laid a good foundation of what to expect. I found the information she provided to be very beneficial for me as a reader and clear cut.

Chapter 6: Gay and Lesbian Activism

Summary:

In this chapter, Garbacik explains the formation of gay and lesbian activism, the organizations differences, their emergence, and individuals who are still left out of the fight. Garbacik provides a strong historical timeline intertwining the two organizations formation. She discusses the differences both organizations faced and how that effected what they stood for. Gay men were seen as more “feminine”, while the lesbians were classified as either butch or feminine. While each had their differences in struggles, they eventually come together to fight for equal rights, yet with every community, one or more communities were stull left out of the fight. Garbacik shows the issues and evolution of both communities and provides powerful examples.

Response:

I really liked how Garbacik led the reader through this chapter. She had a strong flow providing good examples for each community. What made the reading stronger were the images she provided. They created a sense of establishment and aided the concepts she was explaining.

Chapter 5: Sexual Orientation

Summary:

Garbacik opens up this chapter with idea of sexuality and what it all entails, and how most of these concepts of sexuality actually fall short of what is reality. Garbacik defines the term “homosexual” and that when it originated it was deemed a medical term leading to the idea that being “homosexual” was a disease or some medical condition. She also explains the two theories of the evolution of homosexuality, essentialists and constructionists, and how their theories have shaped people’s concepts of how becoming or being born a homosexual is developed. Along with this detailed explanation, she also explains the numerous other categories that exist for sexual orientation which include: bisexual and asexual. For each of these, Garbacik provides an understanding for it means to be each, and the misconceptions that arise with these terms.

Response:

What I really found interesting about this chapter is Garbacik’s way of explaining the numerous communities of sexual orientation. She compares and contrasts them, disputes misconceptions, and gives the reader the current issues many of these people face legally. I, myself, really found the definition of each one beneficial because it made me realize that there really is no true definition for any relationship in this world. Her comparisons on how nothing is ideal made me think of not only my current relationship, but other people’s relationships that don’t follow the ideal path and how they are just as happy. It’s sad to hear that there is still so much discrimination occurring in today’s world in the workforce, and Garbacik’s explanation that this discrimination is not just to one category and should be expanded to all is strong and effective.

Chapter 4: Modern Construction of Gender Roles

Summary:

In this chapter, Garbacik explains the readers the modern construction of gender roles. This begins with the discussion of when a person actually develops an understanding for their gender and who influences it. She explains that from birth, parents and educators form these ideas ranging from the toys given during playtime to the clothes there are dressed in before they can make their own decisions. As this chapter goes on she gives a brief history on Title IX and women’s growing participation in the workforce. In today’s society, women are rising in the workforce, but are still hindered at getting to some top-level jobs and their salaries are still significantly lower than most. Another issue discusses is women’s portrayal in media and how wrong this portrayal is because men dominant the media world. She wraps of the chapter by stating that inequality is still present, but is improving but at a slow pace.

Response:

A question this chapter raised for me is if people are more aware of the salary difference between genders, why are not enough actions taking place? It seems that most people in today’s world would fight for this right more, or make it more known to the public, and yet it is not something discussed as openly. After reading this chapter, it amazes me for how long genders have been treated differently not only when born, but throughout education, sports, and even social events. The definition boxes on the side of the pages were very beneficial for me and more engaging than long paragraphs with just words. I remember things a lot better when there are visuals, and this made what Garbacik was saying more effective for me.